On Insanity and Raising Children

A definition of insanity we often hear is that it is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Now I'm not going to discredit the value of this statement. There are many times throughout life when it is not only beneficial but necessary to take a step back and figure out hat it is we keep trying to do that just isn't making a difference. That being said, what I'd like to focus on is those times when repetition (even when that repetition isn't yielding some visible change) is actually exactly what we need to be doing. The best example of this I can think of is with raising children.

Any of you who have children or have raised them in the past are doubtless familiar with the concept of saying or doing something over and over...and over and over. (this could go on forever) Quite often the only apparent result of all this repetition is feeling very much like this common quote on insanity now applies to you. Do not despair! Not only are you actually still as sane as you ever were, it's likely that what you are actually accomplishing is good parenting. How, you ask? Well, for starters just think of some of the most difficult life lessons you have learned. Were they things that just clicked the first time you ever were introduced to the concept? If so I should probably be the one listening to what you have to say about life. If, however, you are just like the rest of us there have been several life lessons that took a lot of repetition (whether through words or negative consequences) before it sunk in.

The other major concept that comes to mind when thinking of the unapparent sanity in repetitive child rearing is that of consistency. Another very common saying we hear is "change is the only constant" or some variation of that same idea. Think for a moment of how sad that outlook on life really is. Is there really absolutely nothing that can be relied upon to stay the same? No truth we can always believe? Now think further about how sad it would be to create that world for your children. They're still new to the world. It's a big, scary and confusing place.

So the next time you are telling your child for the 4,563rd time to act a certain way...instead of thinking yourself as a crazy person repeating some futile action...realize that you are creating some small amount of stability and consistency in an otherwise unstable and inconsistent world. You are the anchor...and an anchor always needs to do the same thing in the same way. Hold fast and don't despair. It's having far more of an impact than you may ever know.